Meant to Be

I'm looking for that girl

I was

a long long time ago.

She came and stayed with me

a time

back when my mind

was broken.

Except, I didn't

recognize her for who

she really was.

I thought she was part

of that brokenness,

just another

mind game...

But she was

that girl I had lost

so very long ago

that girl I was always

meant to be

that girl that was lost

in condemnation and

disdain

lost in self-righteous rage

she sits in the back

of the chapel, and she sings

“You Are My Hiding Place”,

she says the prayer over and over

making sure it is

sincere

she sees God in a speck of dust

she knows that God

is near

she is confused at their conviction

Why do they say “filthy rags”?

Why do they assume worthlessness?

She never did them harm

she always trusted and

believed...

she always was

sincere

Broken.

My mind was broken over and

over, until it was

sincere

this game my mind

played inside my head

suddenly was real.

It was their words

only that I could hear

it must have

gone on

for years...

she was always full

of compassion

she really knew how to smile,

laugh, hug... trusted,

and believed

she always was

sincere

In my brokenness, I found her

but I could no longer

trust, no longer see

that she did not belong to them

she never had

so I lost her once again

she sits in the back

of my mind and she sings

“You Are My Hiding Place”

she knows that God is near

and slowly, I begin

to hear her voice

again, to see her smile

She is the girl

I was meant to be

You kept her safe for me

in Your embrace, in Your eyes

of Love, I see her there

happy and smiling and whole.

She always knew You

she always knew

You are still right here

despite the confusion, the rage

the disdain

despite the brokenness, the fear

the pain... You are still

right here.

It's like a shift

in vision

a fine tuned adjustment

the mind aligned once more

shattered glass fused together

to form that one true mirror

yet again

a reflection of a vision

absolute and clear

a vision through eyes eternal

a vision of Love

made whole

You kept her safe

and happy

smiling, we are whole

In Your Eyes

I see Love, Compassion

I see the girl I lost

resting in Your arms

I see her at last

for who she really

is...

She is Yours

She belongs

to You

She always has

...I always have

I've always been safe

in You